Under water there was no one judging me, I didn't have to think about the right things to say or how to answer I just got to be alone with my thoughts. I was lucky enough to spend part of my childhood living on the water, so that meant I could spend all day every day in the water during the summer.
I don't remember how old I was the first time I felt like I almost drown. This was different then when I swam by myself, it was at a party and I remember feeling like I was sure that I was going to die.
At parties we always brought out this inflatable toy called a fun island, it was 5 ft diameter circle with ropes around the edge to help you climb up. The other kids and I would take this raft out in the water and climb up On it and see who could push who off first and be king/queen of the island.
One time I don't know how it happened but I got trapped underneath the island. The problem was that the island wasn't anchored so it was moving and I got disoriented and couldn't figure out which was to go so that I wasn't swimming with the island. I remember feeling extremely panicked, I was sure that I was going to die. The next memory I have is of coming up for air and gasping and trying to figure out what had happened and seeing that no one else even noticed that I had been trapped under there.
I was in the water but I think I remember crying and getting myself out of the water. I went to my dad very upset and I remember him giving me a squeeze and saying "well, just stop and swim the opposite direction next time".
Writing this I'm realizing that this event may be a big reason why I'm scared of scuba diving. I never really liked the idea of having a limited amount of oxygen. Maybe I'll need to tackle that fear some day soon, that would be a fun vacation.
