Today I had the opportunity to tell my story to a group of women. My story being what has recovery been like for me and how I got to where I am today.
I enjoy getting up and talking in front of others. I like being able to share my experience but today I found myself changing my story to illicit the particular reaction that I wanted from my audience. As I was speaking I was quickly making judgements about what I thought my audience was thinking and changed my story to fit what I thought they wanted so it was no longer totally my story or speaking my truth.
After I told my story I had the opportunity to hear the women who were listening share some of their story. It shouldn't surprise me that I was completely wrong about my assumptions about the women I was talking to. I should know by now that the story that I tell should be my story because there is no judgement about it when it comes to recovery.
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Why Blog?
I keep wanting to blog and yet I suffer from the belief that I have nothing to offer. I want to write and yet I think I have nothing worthwhile to write about. What I do have is my life experience.
The process in the last couple of years of getting to know the real me vs the me I think that I thought I was. This is a process of learning to have compassion not only for me as I am but for that little girl inside me that I have ignored for so long. This is a process of slowing down and remembering that I am enough exactly as I am and I will be ok.
There is a deep desire in me to write and to share stories and yet a fear that I will do it wrong. So I am going to start doing it today and practice because the only way to get better at something is to practice so here I am telling my story.
I feel numb a lot of the time when I think I should be feeling things like love. Could it be that I subconsciously shut myself off from my emotions because I am scared of how big they are? I dunno if that's accurate and I guess it doesn't matter. What I've learned is that I have to accept whatever it is that I am feeling in this moment.
The process in the last couple of years of getting to know the real me vs the me I think that I thought I was. This is a process of learning to have compassion not only for me as I am but for that little girl inside me that I have ignored for so long. This is a process of slowing down and remembering that I am enough exactly as I am and I will be ok.
There is a deep desire in me to write and to share stories and yet a fear that I will do it wrong. So I am going to start doing it today and practice because the only way to get better at something is to practice so here I am telling my story.
I feel numb a lot of the time when I think I should be feeling things like love. Could it be that I subconsciously shut myself off from my emotions because I am scared of how big they are? I dunno if that's accurate and I guess it doesn't matter. What I've learned is that I have to accept whatever it is that I am feeling in this moment.
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